Gifts from Friends We Never Wanted is a book title that gets the job done. Namely, it grabbed my attention and prompted me to explore what the author could possibly mean by such a paradoxical statement. What kind of “gift” could I receive from a “friend” I never wanted? Initially, I found myself scratching my head and making sure I correctly understood the definitions of gift and friend. 

But as soon as I read Virginia Herbers ’ Introduction, it became clear this seasoned writer, spiritual director, and retreat leader was doing what great teachers do best: sparking curiosity and inviting reflection. The central message of this book—new to some and a timely reminder for others—is that our world is infused with the grace of a God who heals what is broken and works through the events in our lives we ’d rather ignore in order to draw us closer to Christ. 

The friends in her book are experiences like grief, coming in second place, worry, doubt, betrayal, failure, and more. Each friend has its own chapter and begins with a story about a biblical character who illustrates the experience. Worry, for example, is paired with Martha, who was anxious about the state of her house when Jesus visited her and Mary in Luke 10. Herbers draws on sound biblical scholarship and uses relatable stories from contemporary society to point us toward the gift each friend offers. In Martha ’s case, the friend of worry points her to the gift of reverence. Beyond Martha, we read about Elizabeth, Joseph, Andrew, John the Baptist, Judas, Mary, Longinus (I had to look this one up!), Cleopas, and Peter. 

The ten chapters (roughly 10 pages each) in this short book all follow the same format: they begin with a Scripture reading introducing the biblical character; reflect on that person ’s life and the friend their story illustrates; highlight the ways God ’s grace works through the friend to bring us a gift; and conclude with a short message in the voice of the Bible character to the reader about how to take to heart the chapter ’s message.

This book will be a welcome addition to one ’s personal devotional library, or as the basis for church-based small group discussions. I am a Presbyterian pastor and have used the book as the foundation for a sermon series for my church. Herbers has a gift for drawing out the wisdom of Scripture and connecting it with the felt needs of her readers, reminding them that God is indeed making all things new—especially through those events in their lives they may not be ready to call friends.