Beth L. HEWETT.  Grief on the Road to Emmaus: A Monastic Approach to Journeying with the Bereaved.  Collegeville, MN:  Liturgical Press, 2023.  pp. 328 + xvi.  $29.95 pb.  ISBN 978-0-8146-6804-7.  Reviewed by Stephen S. WILBRICHT, Stonehill College, Easton, MA 02357.

Combining her skills as a bereavement facilitator with her formation as a Benedictine oblate, Beth Hewitt expands the literature on grief work by exploring how the core values of the monastic way of life can help men and women confront death and journey onward with hope.  The book’s title, Grief on the Road to Emmaus, suggests that the path for bereavement ministry is that of accompaniment, of seeking to be an objective companion on the road to healing, of truly being present to those seeking to begin life anew after experiencing a crisis of loss (death or otherwise).  Not only is this a valuable resource for professional ministers of care, who regularly encounter those who are in mourning, but it provides a much needed Christian perspective for all the baptized on how to travel gracefully through this valley of tears.

Hewitt demonstrates great familiarity with the Rule of St. Benedict, which provides the framework for her “monastic approach” to bereavement.  The principles that she draws from the Rule—namely love, mutuality, hospitality, listening, prayer, humility, action (meaning good works), and community—comprise the topics for the book’s eight chapters.  With all of these themes, the author not only provides a vision for effective engagement with those who suffer, but she also underscores the importance of self-care.  Like Henri Nouwen before her, Hewitt is convinced that there must be quality “care for the caregiver” in order to persevere in bereavement facilitation.

Each chapter begins with a vignette from Hewitt’s own personal grief story that models the need for bereavement ministers to be honest with themselves regarding their own experiences of death and loss.  Following a short interpretation of how each personal anecdote connects to the particular Benedictine value to be explored in the chapter, Hewitt provides numerous references to the Rule that reveal the founder’s perspective on monastic life.  Thus, one of the book’s accomplishments is to provide a bridge between the monastery and the world—all Christians will be strengthened in their discipleship by incorporating Benedict’s vision into their spirituality and their daily lives.  An additional feature of the book is its inclusion of exercises and small group activities based upon cultural issues brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic.  In other words, Hewitt’s research is very current.

Rather than explore the book’s contents in detail, I choose simply to underscore the relevance of this book in a society that shirks suffering and denies death.  Throughout the entirety of Grief on the Road to Emmaus, the reader is brought face to face with the Christian belief that “life is changed not ended” when death occurs (from Preface I for the Dead in the Roman Missal).  To grieve well is to love well.  Hewitt writes:  “Grief is intimately connected to our love for those who die—we grieve because we love.  As we now know, grief and mourning are a natural, normal, and necessary part of human life.  Rather than being a barrier to living a full life, they’re indispensable to it and not to be avoided” (312). 

While some women and men possess the special charism necessary to engage professionally in bereavement ministry, all Christian are called to walk compassionately and empathetically with those who bear the heavy weight of the cross of grieving.  This important book puts us squarely on the road and invites us to grow in sympathy and understanding.  The author concludes:  “By keeping death before our eyes, we learn to love heartfully, to see the bereaved with mutuality, to treat everyone hospitably, to listen with the ears of our hearts, to pray with and for each other, to work with humility and the knowledge of our limitations, to encourage mourning actions that foster hope, and to build communities of healthy bereavement facilitators and hopeful bereaved people” (313).  Does this not sound like the itinerary for the way of faith all Christians are called to travel as baptized disciples?